I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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