i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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