I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
