Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
