Buhtt sex?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize