When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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