3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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