LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
