Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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