I'm pants shitting drunk right now
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
