p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize