nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
