OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
