I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and she was petting her beer can
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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