Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
