I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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