Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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