Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
