three words: i give head
three words: not that well
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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