He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The adults are the big ones right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
