we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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