make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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