Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
