We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize