Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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