$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
