I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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