How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
