i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
