is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
