So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
