Whod you bang
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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