I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize