HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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