the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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