Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
