so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
