I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
