she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
