just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Text me some of your sweat
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize