I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize