She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
