He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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