just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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