my vag is so smooth its legendary
Everything about him screamed your future.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
