Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize