i think i have herpe
just one?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
