my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
