My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize