Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
