You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
