ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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