Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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