Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize