I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
