My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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