There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
