yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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