You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
