I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
