in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize