Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
