plz talk dirty to me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
