I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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