You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
