remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize